It's the big finish - la grande crescendo - el grand culminacion: and this is A Song of Ice and Fire, so it's bloody. Join us as we sprint into Season 6 of Game of Thrones, and share our astonished delight at the continued survival of the original badassed grandpa; surely he can't be long for this world? He's doing better than most people, though. Mentioning no names. On an unrelated topic, this podcast marks our final embrace of the fact that George RR Martin is not misunderstood after all, and is in fact as much of a bastard as everyone thinks. Why, George? Why?!
"Hey, you know what would be a good idea? Heading down to the dragon pit for a bit of amateur dragon taming." Said no sane person ever. Join Shark Liver Oil for our penultimate part in our gargantuan read through of A Dance With Dragons. We spend a lot of time across the narrow sea as Quentyn makes his bid for greatness. We also check in with Tyrion as he tries to become a mercenary and we join Cersei for the worst stroll through Kings Landing since that High Septon had his arms ripped off. Promises to be eventful.
We're back! And this week, there's the smooth flavour of Essos' own take on Ocean's Eleven, the arresting notion of Nicholas Cage as Arya Stark, and the surprising possibility that George RR Martin was once shut out of a Madness gig and took it reeeeeaaally personally. I don't know what you're used to, Wensleydale, but around here we do things by the book. As ever, get in touch through email@example.com, on on Twitter @sharkliveroil, and let us know what other references we're missing.
In part 11 Shark Liver Oil boldly sails into unchartered waters in search of a mysterious land called Pork and Monkey Island! First discovered by Victarion Greyjoy. The bold captain waited there for his Iron Fleet and (while enthusiastically stocking up on all the pig meat he could carry) was mercilessly pelted with as much shit as a troop of monkeys could throw (which was a lot). We're also treated to the Talent Show To End All Talent Shows as Tyrion and Penny do their hilarious jousting routine and Danaerys rides a dragon off into the sunset. You. Were. Fan. Tastic..... Release the lions...
We're back, and it's time for part 10 of our coverage of A Dance With Dragons by George RR Martin. This week, we've got characters trolling other characters, and the author trolling his audience; it must be Game of Thrones. Also a wedding, (another) ambiguous death scene, and Theon striking the least-well-timed heroic pose in the history of Westeros. As ever, let us know what you're thinking about the book, the podcast, or Season 6 of Game of Thrones. Looking forward to it? Terrified? Strangely warmed? @sharkliveroil on Twitter, or firstname.lastname@example.org.
"Extra! Extra! Read All About It! Mad Dickhead Kisses Queen! Not Long For This World!" Welcome to part 9 of Dance With Dragons, featuring a cast of thousands, seemingly not long for this world. Northmen from the hills are fatalistically preparing for a chilly winter death, Stannis is getting bogged down in snow, Daario is pushing new boundaries of indiscretion and Ser Barristan continues to defy Dave's prediction of violent death - but how long can he survive?! It feels like everyone's livin on the edge! Get your feedback into us at email@example.com or find us on twitter @sharkliveroil
The shark rides the dragon onwards, ever onwards! This week in our romp through A Song of Ice and Fire by George RR Martin, we've got the many faces of the Artist Formerly Known As Theon Greyjoy, a heroic effort from Jon Snow to piss off literally everybody who works for him, and the worst cooking practice in the history of naval cuisine. Also witticisms, attempted witticisms, and jokes that didn't fall flat on their faces, you're just not smart enough to get them. As always, get in touch with your thoughts, schemes, ideas, fan theories and lurve: you're the best. Twitter @sharkliveroil, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
It's all about extremes in part seven of Shark Liver Oil's readthrough of A Dance With Dragons. From the smallest amongst us we find out more about Tyrion and Penny's pig riding, ship breaking and a storm ravaged journey to the hot and humid climes of Slavers Bay. At the other end of the height spectrum, everyone's favourite giant Wun Wun has trouble settling into life at Castle Black. It's like fire and ice, taking over the whole wooooorld...Get your feedback into us at email@example.com or find us on twitter @sharkliveroil
WE'RE BACK ON THE DRAGONS! It's our return for a final victory lap of the world of A Song of Ice and Fire by George RR Martin (at least until The Winds of Winter comes out). Revel! In the sight of a grown admiral acting like an angry teenager. Gasp! At the wince-enducing cruelty of negligent pirates. And chortle! At the apparent presence of early 90's hip comedy staples in the otherwise bleak wastes of Westeros. As ever, get in touch with your thoughts on the book, the characters or the podcast - @sharkliveroil on Twitter, or firstname.lastname@example.org.
It's time for some guerrilla warfare, some questionable health advice, and, of course, some poor life choices - it's time, in fact, for the fifth part of our coverage of A Dance With Dragons by George RR Martin! Featuring dragons, dancing, and some beings who are definitely not zombies no no definitely not. As ever, send us your thoughts at email@example.com, or on Twitter at @sharkliveroil.
Welcome to part 4 of Shark Liver Oil's journey through A Dance With Dragons. We check in with Davos during his ill advised diplomatic mission to White Harbour, we encounter the stone men as part of Tyrion's Big Gap Year Boat Trip Adventure, Theon/ Reek visits a new contender for "Most Miserable Place in Westeros" and problems continue to pile up for both Jon and Dany. Things are getting rough - good job we're here to guide you through it. Shields Up! Swords! Lets do this! Get you feedback over to us on email firstname.lastname@example.org or on twitter @sharkliveroil
Welcome to part 3 of our rollocking good romp through A Dance With Dragons. In this section Danaerys considers bringing back Mereen's "Even More Extreme WWE" style fighting pits, Jon sends his best friends away in an honourable move worthy of Ned Stark and Davos moves ever closer to his Feast For Crows illustrated head on a spike situation in White Harbour. Get your feedback and comments to us on email email@example.com or on twitter @sharkliveroil
The second part of Shark Liver Oil's page by page guide to George RR Martin's Dance With Dragons says hello to a pole-boat load of new characters, welcomes back some old favourites and fetches the chopping block for one of its enemies. Get ready to meet Griff, Halfmaester Haldon, as-yet-unnamed-purple-haired-boy, Sexy Septa and of course the worst named knight in the seven kingdoms and beyond: Ser Duck. We also say "hello old friend" to Davos Seaworth. However, considering we learned in Feast For Crows that he's to have his head on a spike at White Harbour in the not so distant future, we fear he won't be around for long. What? That's not a spoiler! When is a spoiler not a spoiler? When the author's written it into a previous book, thats when!! Ahem, get your feedback into us at firstname.lastname@example.org or find us on twitter @sharkliveroil
WE'RE BACK! As dragon returns to its recently-charred livestock, so we return to A Song of Ice and Fire, and it's good to be back on the dragon wagon. This week, we've got the return - with a bump - of all the characters you missed during A Feast for Crows, which means Jon Snow! In the snow! Tyrion Lannister! In a barrel! And Danaerys Targaryen! In a surprisingly complex political and cultural quandary! Yes, ASOIAF is still the smartest gig in fantasy, and we are still running to keep up, telling fart gags all the way. This week featuring extra Desmond Tutu. As ever, get in touch with us on @sharkliveroil or via email email@example.com, and let us know what you think of the book!